6. Let's Recap

Let’s Recap If you are just jumping in, let me catch you up. Our journey began with 

"A Dad’s Heart: An Introduction to My Story" where I revealed my hesitation to share our estrangement story, driven by the fear it might widen the gap between us. We sought support from faith-based counselors, realizing this journey was beyond our control.

Then came “My Father’s Day Reflection,” a deeply emotional recount of how significant dates, especially Father’s Day and Mother’s Day, stir up memories and hopes, and the constant pain of waiting for reconciliation. The presence of my other daughter and grandson serves as a reminder that the bond between a parent and child, though strained, is not easily broken.

In “Finding Purpose in the Waiting,” I shared the struggle of early mornings filled with contemplation, drawing inspiration from the Prodigal Son’s father. I have found that having a sense of purpose in daily activities can help manage the emotional toll of waiting.

“For The Record. I Love You” was my declaration of unwavering love for my estranged child. Despite the ongoing pain, I emphasized that supporting others in similar situations is therapeutic, fostering a compassionate community.

Finally, in “What’s Your Identity?” I reflected on how struggles and choices shape our identity. Choosing joy each day, despite the emotional challenges, is what defines my mission with The Finding Courage Project.

And now, we approach the next chapter, “I See You,” where we delve into the importance of truly seeing people beyond their masks of hurt and pain. Recognizing and loving them for who they are can lead to profound healing. This perspective has been enriched by responses from children of estranged parents, offering insights that emphasize the bi-directional nature of love and hope.

So, as we prepare for the next post, remember that healing and connection are possible. Let’s continue this journey together, sharing stories, finding courage, and holding onto hope.

5. What’s Your Identity?

Ink always tells a story. Sometimes it's just a story of a bad night in Vegas. But more often, it's a little deeper than that. My lion tattoo on my shoulder goes back a few years into my story. It represents courage and is built on the words “May you find the courage to face the day, reach for hope, and know that joy is one decision away.” That one decision at the time was just getting out of bed, kissing my wife and telling her I love her, and hugging my daughter tightly so she knows she is loved in the midst of chaos. All of that wrapped up into the decision “I am going to choose to love my family well today.”

Then, “Off to work”. Another choice to walk through the day and recognize I have meetings and people to interact with, even when I feel emotionally drained. But, I am going to work and choose to do two things. I can focus on two tasks, make a list, and do them one at a time. And, I can choose to love people the best I can (mostly because it takes less energy than being angry if you're honest).

Choices. I have come to realize that choices can sometimes drive your feelings instead of the other way around. Us business people would say "fake it till you make it." There is truth to that. The mind is powerful that way.

So who do you want to be identified as? Are you just the parent of a prodigal? Is that really all you are? Constantly wondering if you are the reason for the distance between you, defining yourself by stories that may or may not be true, but you certainly can't change either way?

Is your loved one defined as a prodigal, or is this just a moment in time and not what ultimately defines them? Perhaps the things we think of as regrets should be considered the moments in the fire that forge priceless metal. Many imperfect elements come together to make a metal composite that is strong or valuable, and when correctly molded, can be a powerful weapon for good, or when refined and polished, of infinite worth.

Krista and I talk about this all the time. Are we (just) the identity of our current struggle or are we, professionals, a man or woman finding the courage to choose joy each day while we wait for the struggles to be worked out? To rise above rather than be trapped below. I can be the parent that struggles (the struggle is real & normal), but I can also be the one that continues to find the courage to choose joy each day, even when I may not feel it.

Sometimes that means focusing on tasks and executing them well. That sense of accomplishment I feel can be energizing and affirming. Other times, it's looking for ways to help or encourage others, even in small ways, because it might give you joy to see someone else smile because of you.

So the “Prodigal Hope Project” LLC. may tell your something about how we got here. But DBA (Doing Business As) “The Finding Courage Project” LLC. is the mission. That is what we are ultimately trying to do, we are here to help anyone who leans in to “Finding the courage to face the day, reach for hope in the current (prodigal) situation, and know that joy (and peace and happiness and all that you think might be gone) is just one decision away.”