It's always a difficult time of year, the March birthday, the April anniversary of the day she left. It crushes me five years later, like it was yesterday.
And then after May and Mother's Day is June and Father's Day, and I think that it can’t affect me, still. Four consecutive months of the year, for each of the five years now, I think I should be used to it by now. But I am not. It’s Friday, and everyone’s asking, “What do you want to do for Father’s Day?” Truthfully, I just want to curl up in my home office, turn on the US Open golf tournament, and pray Tiger wins just one more major (he missed the cut by the way, +7, poor guy). Because, somehow if he does that, then maybe there is hope in my situation too.
Yea, Sunday is coming, and even though I'm not sure what it will be like, I imagine it will be tough for a lot of dads out there. For those dads who are holding out for the hope of a surprise visit, or a call, text, smoke signal from someone estranged, my heart is with you.
The good news is I am surrounded by others who are present, who love me, and represent all that is still good in the world. For instance, my other daughter and her bright-eyed baby boy (my grandson). He grows each day with a brighter smile, a little more of a laugh, a giggle turned into belly laugh, and a twinkle in his eye when he sees his momma from across the room. Their bond reminds me that love still grows from a very organic and real place. That the bond between a parent and child is not easily formed, nor is it easily broken. And even when strained, can still be restored.
I know there is so much more to the story, my story, that I am still to share. Until then, I would love to hear your story.
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